don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
