Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I stole a fireplace last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
