I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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