me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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