I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize