im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you win again, gameday.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
