i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
