did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
