im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
