Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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