I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize