we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I believe in your delicious
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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