but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
