he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Congratulations! We have a period
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
