my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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