So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
