Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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