i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize