i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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