To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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