You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
