You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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