how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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