Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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