...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
