you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
