Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
