She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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