OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that's an acceptable place to lick
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
