okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
