We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
