We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
