i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
