i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize