Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Randomize
