I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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