I wanna bring you to show and tell
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize