She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
