Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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