Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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