Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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