i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
