Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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