Are we in a gay sports bar?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize