this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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