I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
