Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
