I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
