she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
