Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
