There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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