oh god the rape fog is back!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
