You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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