how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
