The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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