But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
