I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize