Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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