..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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