i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
