What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
